yeah, that’s the way i feel.
:(

i should find some. my life is depressing right now. too much dread going on. i dread doing over half the things i do. got to quit some things, seriously. overall, i wonder why my life can’t have a regular progression to it?

i think i found an online mpa program that i will apply to at the university of texas at arlington. the deadline for next fall is in march, plenty of time to get my act together. as in study for the gre and take it!

bought a ut longhorn snuggie today! excited that the longhorns football team will be playing for a championship this january. \m/ !!!!!!!

unfortunately i won’t be going to arizona for christmas break like i thought i would because my friend in az will be working. thinking about austin, haven’t been there since 2007.

i don’t know.

i could learn how to cope better. find contentment and beauty in the little things…because maybe that is all i’ll ever get out of life.

i am claiming it. haha.

had a good thanksgiving, even though i was sick. being sick is the story of my life…as of late.
my sister loves sundays, but i don’t because it means work the next morning. ay. got to fix that.
the past week i’ve upgraded some things. got a new flat screen tv, and a new larger monitor. a lot of money going out…
but i so deserve it!
i am a hard dedicated worker.

got to count them.
they are in abundance.

…is what i do often. and it’s all confusing, my life. i’ve always preached to myself to be true to who i am, and do stuff that makes me happy but right now in my life i don’t feel like i am being true to myself since i am so unhappy. and stressed.

“There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do.” – Freya Stark